Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Free Yanni

It was the spring of 1990 and it was time to move on. I was 20 and our relationship was dragging, so I told my long-time girlfriend that I wanted to break up with her. That was 8 p.m. Thirteen hours later, she finally dragged her ass out the door. Thirteen hours of sheer hell, of her screamed profanities mixed with soft pleadings of love. Every mental disorder and insecurity splayed at your feet. Threatened violence, maybe a smack or two from her. Most of you have been there, on one or both sides of that equation.

Two years later, I was sort of going out with an insane girl from England. She was basically living in my apartment and I kept trying to get her out, but she wouldn't leave. I had a squatter on my hands. Now this is all part of the worst (or maybe best in some weird way) day of my life, which starts in the morning when the electricity was cut off in my apartment for not paying the bills, which made me late to work at my waiter job, where I was fired. I drank the better part of a bottle of whiskey, wound up at the U-Club, ended up back at my apartment with another girl. Then at like midnight the British girl storms into the apartment in a rage and attacks me. (Oh, I forgot to mention that I put all her belongings in a pile outside the door, too). I'll never forget it. To keep her from biting me I had to grab her nose. We were rolling around on the kitchen floor and I was playing twister just trying to keep her from killing me. During the tussle, her shoulder pops out. It happened all the time. She had a plastic shoulder from falling off a horse as a child in jolly old England. It was a good thing, because it calmed her down. Instead of screaming bloody murder she was now sitting motionless and wailing in pain. But she couldn't pop it back into place. Sobbing, she asked me if I could take her to the hospital. As an upstanding fellow, I had to do it (and left the other girl, who was sitting there in stunned silence, in the apartment by herself). And the British girl was happy and right at home as we headed to the hospital in her huge, creaking Oldsmobile; it was like we were back together.

There's a lot more to that story (I wound up spending the night in jail on a fucking traffic charge -- not DUI) but I've made my point: Breaking up is hard to do.

Yanni found that out in a big way on Friday night, according to the Palm Beach Post. And he wound up in jail not on a traffic charge, but on misdemeanor battery charges. The scenario, as written up by the Post's Andrew Marra, is that Yanni takes his girlfriend, Silvia Barthes, out to dinner to break up with her. Very smart on Yanni to drop the B-bomb in a public place. I'm guessing that she was cool in the restaurant. Then they went back to Yanni's Manalapan mansion. That's where it got dicey. The story from Barthes: He became abusive at the house, grabbed her by the arms, threw her on the bed, and slapped her on the face.

The only problem with that is it makes absolutely no sense. I mean, I know Yanni has this reputation as a vicious out-of-control outlaw-artist type (almost as bad as Kenny G), but there's no way he's the aggressor here. Yanni, at that moment, just wants her out of the house as quickly as possible. His story is that he had to retaliate after she kicked him in the balls. That sounds more like it. Think about it. This woman is getting evicted from the luxurious ocean-front home of one of the wealthiest entertainers in the world. She's pissed. Real pissed.

But when police arrive, she's got a mark on her lip and he doesn't have any marks on him (that would have to have been one hell of a shot to groin to leave a mark). So in a knee-jerk move, the cops put him in jail and probably left her sitting in his house.

Unless the prosecutor doesn't file the charges, Yanni'll probably wind up without anything on his record and go through some kind of court-ordered program. I really doubt he'll fight it in court. We all know that Yanni is no fighter, after all.

Story of the Day
This was easy. It's Michael Vasquez's most excellent article in the Miami Herald about a corrupt land deal that the reporter learned involves not only Miami Mayor Manny Diaz and a commissioner, but also city manager Joe Arriola. As I've always said: Arriola happens.

Blogging Panel Madness

Those of you who don't check in here a couple times a day missed my very nice post about a planned SPJ panel on blogging. I took the posting down last night after sturm and drang developed over whether the Pulp had actually been pulled from the lineup. I'm 99 percent sure it was true, but out of respect to friends involved in the issue, I put it to the side yesterday evening. I'll update you on it soon.

43 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

No question, the story on Arriola was great -- but for an Honorable Mention, how about this great story about a school principal who got promoted ... and somehow felt entitled to spending $12,000 of her FORMER SCHOOL'S money on expensive stuff for her new office? http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/news/14034807.htm

Surely there must be a special circle of hell reserved for people who divert money intended to help poor kids and use it for swanky office furniture ...

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