Friday, January 20, 2006

Tom Gallagher Loves Boobies

I'm starting to love the Republican gubernatorial race. Yesterday, Tom Gallagher was spouting about how much he loved Jesus, clearly trying to enamor himself with Florida's Christian Right. In this morning's Herald story on Gallagher's campaigning, reporter Mary Ellen Klas writes, "Gallagher, the state's chief financial officer, focused on the value of family and the importance of staying the course on education policy, and repeatedly mentioned assets he has that Crist doesn't: a wife, a son and a brief military career."
That's Gallagher's code for, "I LIKE WOMEN!!!" You see, there have been rumblings for years that Crist is, well, you know. Last year at the beginning of the campaign, a radio talk show host in Tampa asked him, point-blank, "Are you a homo?" He answered: ``No, man. No. I love women. I mean, they're wonderful." I know what you're thinking -- that's a pretty gay-sounding response. A lot of political insiders don't buy it and Gallagher's camp is playing up Crist's confirmed bachelor status on the campaign trial. Klas writes that Clearwater Christian Club president Matt Scobell "summed up Gallagher's political strategy" with this line: "Tom is a family man, the oldest of eight children and not a lawyer."
Gallagher said, ''Of all these jobs, the one I care most about is Dad. When you have a child, your life changes. You just don't know it unless you have your own.''
Translation: "I'm a normal, complete man while Crist's gayness makes him a stunted freak."
And Gallagher also called Crist "a nice guy ... probably one of the nicest guys around."
Translation: "He's so nice he might even do you a favor in one of the bathrooms at the park."
This is going to get more interesting as time goes on.

The story of the day was a no-brainer. It's the Sentinel story on one of the homeless beating victims. Turns out Raymond Perez, who was the third man battered last week during a night of the old ultra-violence by a few wayward teens, had disappeared from his family 14 years ago. The family tracked him down when they saw a story about the beatings up in Long Island in Newsday. It's a damn interesting story, and reporter Bill Hirschman does a good job of telling it, but it seems to have come through a stroke of good fortune. The family happened to contact the Sentinel instead of the Herald, which has been spanking the Sentinel on coverage of the beatings. Just goes to show that sometimes it's better to be lucky than good.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

very funny Bob. You're the best blogger and I wish your stuff was more widely publicized like Ariana Huffington.

9:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Norman:
Cleary you are just another liberal fag. Why else would you imply that a candidate who isn't married, and yes, smokes other men's polies, is fit to be the governor of the God-fearing state of Florida? Tom Gallagher may have shagged intern that ever sent him a resume, but at least he was doing God intended when he made Adam and Eve, not Adam and … well, you know the rest. The last thing the blogosphere needs is another liberal spouting off crap like this. When Tom Gallagher becomes govenor, I hope he revokes your press license.
Albert Lagenfeld, Tamarac

3:58 PM  
Blogger Florida Pulp said...

I appreciate you're candor, Mr. Langenfeld, and have long admired you as one of the finest non-existent press critics in the history of modern journalism. You keep it real because you don't have to be. And, really now, how could I ever argue the fact that men who smoke other men's "polies" aren't fit to be governor of Florida. The truth is the truth. But let me make one thing crystal clear, Albert: Of course they can take away my certified Florida Press License that's hanging in a gold-plated frame on my wall ... just as soon as they pry my cold dead hands off of it.

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good post :) I find Florida politics so interesting it almost makes me want to move there. I even created my very own candidate guide for your northern Georgia neighbors.

6:15 PM  

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